We don’t often realize that the kids have grown up and what not to do when they are around. Arguing parents is one of the conditions which most kids confront in their childhood and may have created unnecessary thoughts. Most parents argue without actually realizing and some argue to prove their power in front of the kids. While negotiating and settling matters softly will prove as a good example to your child rather than calling names, insulting your partner, or hurting.
Arguing Couples
Most couples or in any relationship arguing is natural. Wife and husband do argue quite a few times. Be it a petty issue such as a messy toilet or a major financial issue, couples do tend to argue with each other. Sometimes, the arguments go over the board and result in screaming, yelling, pushing, physical attacks, calling names, swearing, and what not.
Such powerful arguments do not necessarily result in divorce or a settlement for that matter. Arguments do not really produce results or a common agreement. They just increase the tension in the relationship.
Arguing in front of the kids
OK, we all grew up watching our parents argue. Didn’t we turn up alright? Perhaps, Yes or No. But, how are we making sure how our kids are going to tackle it in a proper manner. Avoiding arguments in front of the kids may not be possible all together. Sometimes, we do not really mean what we say to each other while we argue. But, the kids may take it in a real sense. Their small minds may stay confused who is right or whom to take sides with.
Some kids may undergo severe shock or depression when they confront arguing parents. They may get scared that their parents might hurt each other which they do not want. Often, they may find it amusing and may wait for a chance to use it back on parents. 🙂 Be mindful that how we behave in front of them may lay guidelines for them to behave with others.
Watch out
If you are caught arguing in front of the kids, apologize and say that you really don’t mean it. Sometimes, due to emotions, adults do forget the rules of fighting and set up a bad example. You can promote healthy argument by:
- Respecting your partner
- Facing your spouse while talking
- Making your point clear while listening
- Not involving in any other task while talking
- Repeating what the spouse said as an example
- Talking softly as you would talk in front of your neighbors
- Restating your expectations
- Agreeing or proposing an action plan for the resolution
Most of the things may seem ideal and unattainable, but there is no harm in practicing once in a while. 🙂