A guest offers a gift bag to your kid. The kid takes it. He may or may not offer a thank you. You have to remind him to say it. Next, the kid tears open the gift right in front of the guest. You and the guest are shocked. Next, the kid says to the guest he already has it and he does not like it. Now, the guest and you are embarrassed and totally clue less what to do.
Kids think it is alright to behave and say what they want. To some extent, parents do encourage kids to be independent and not to be afraid in any circumstances. But, parents need to explain the difference between being independent and being rude. The basic manners of being courteous, kind and nice to others must not be forgotten while emphasizing independence.
Every kid is different and may need different disciplining style. Here are some tips and best practices to encourage good behavior when presented with gifts:
- Reminding the rules of receiving guests. Saying ‘Hello’, ‘How are you’
- Responding to the guests questions. Saying ‘Thank you’, ‘I’m fine’
- Looking in to the guests face directly while they are talking
- Waiting until the conversation is complete
- Listening actively to the conversation
- Taking permission from the parents or guests
- Saying ‘Thank you’ for the gift
- Being polite and attentive all the time
The kids have to be taught that the gift has to be opened only after the guest leaves or only after coming home. They can express their view about the gift but not in front of the guest. Parents must emphasize that the guest has spend lot of money and time to buy the gift and the guest has shown lot of love and affection by buying the gift.
If the kid does not like the gift, it is better to say, ‘Thank you’ and ‘It is good that you thought of me’. This way the kid will not be lying and at the same time not hurting the guest. It is important to show the kids to maintain smooth tone and polite language along with the body language. If the kid makes any rude comment, parents have to immediately ask to rephrase the statement with a polite comment.
The same rules hold good with respect to return gifts too. Rude behavior can be stopped by increasing the awareness, modeling and practice. It is also important to maintain positive reinforcement for good behavior and negative reinforcement for rude behavior.